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Discussion Forum Index / Love, Sex and Relationships / Funny poems
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Posts:2716
Rank: SuperGod
Posted: October 21 2006 at 06:23 PM

Holy mother, full of grace
Bless my boyfriend's gorgeous face
Bless his hair that tends to curl
Keep him safe from all the girls
Bless his arms that are so strong
Keep his hands where they belong
Bless his dick, the one I sucked
Bless the bed, in which we fucked
And if my Mom happened to walk in
Bless the shit I'd be in.

lmao..isnt that funny?

Posts:2716
Rank: SuperGod
Posted: October 21 2006 at 06:25 PM

post some if you have

Posts:637
Rank: God
Posted: October 21 2006 at 06:25 PM

yeah, in a weird funny way

49 / Female

Posts:417
Rank: God
Posted: October 21 2006 at 06:26 PM

	Quote: rus_allince
	Holy mother, full of grace Bless my boyfriend's gorgeous face Bless his hair that tends to curl Keep him safe from all the girls Bless his arms that are so strong Keep his hands where they belong Bless his dick, the one I sucked Bless the bed, in which we fucked And if my Mom happened to walk in Bless the shit I'd be in. lmao..isnt that funny?

HAHA I LOVE IT!!!!

33 / Female

Posts:1003
Rank: SuperGod
Posted: October 21 2006 at 06:53 PM

33 / Female

Posts:1003
Rank: SuperGod
Posted: October 21 2006 at 06:53 PM

35 / Female

Posts:906
Rank: God
Posted: October 21 2006 at 06:57 PM

haha ive seen that one before

38 / Female

Posts:1601
Rank: Moderator
Posted: October 22 2006 at 02:07 AM

I can Top that first poem this one is about giving head the first time I heard it was back in grade 7 LMFAO
its called...
An Ode To Oral Sex

Penis breath, a lover's dread
Is what you get when you give head
Unpleasant as it tends to be
Be grateful that he doesn't pee
It's times like this, you wonder why
you bothered reaching for his fly
But it's too late, can't be a tease
Accept the facts, get on your knees
You know you've got a job to do
So open wide and shove it through
Lick the tip then take it all
Don't drag your teeth or he might bawl
Slide up and down, use your tongue
And feel the precum start to run
So when the fuck's he gonna cum
Just, when you can't take anymore
You hear your lover's mighty roar
And when he hits that real high note
You feel it oozing down your throat
Salty, fishy, sticky, stuff
Okay, already that's enough
Let's switch you say, before you gag
And what's your revenge, your on the rag.

Last edited by Tinkerb1tch on October 22, 2006 a 2:08 AM

Posts:1031
Rank: SuperGod
Posted: October 22 2006 at 09:20 PM

	Quote: Tinkerb1tch
	I can Top that first poem this one is about giving head the first time I heard it was back in grade 7 LMFAO its called... An Ode To Oral Sex 22, 2006 a 2:08 AM</font>

Posts:2716
Rank: SuperGod
Posted: October 24 2006 at 08:05 PM

Roses are red,
Violets are corny,
When I think of you
Ohh baby I get horny,
Eat me,
Beat me,
Bite me,
Blow me,
Suck me,
Fuck me,
Very slowly,
If you kiss me,
Dont be sassy,
Use your tongue and make it nasty!

Posts:1031
Rank: SuperGod
Posted: October 24 2006 at 08:23 PM

	Quote: rus_allince
	Roses are red, Violets are corny, When I think of you Ohh baby I get horny, Eat me, Beat me, Bite me, Blow me, Suck me, Fuck me, Very slowly, If you kiss me, Dont be sassy, Use your tongue and make it nasty!

34 / Female

Posts:151
Rank: Addict
Posted: October 24 2006 at 08:42 PM

hahaha lmfaooooo funni funniii shiiittttt

Posts:426
Rank: God
Posted: October 26 2006 at 12:14 AM

It's not the length its not the size
its how many times you can make it rise

Posts:426
Rank: God
Posted: October 26 2006 at 12:15 AM

I love the way it rubs against my soft pink flesh
and creates a foamy liquid
as it thrusts in and out up and down
I can't wait for the next time
I love my toothbrush

Posts:426
Rank: God
Posted: October 26 2006 at 12:17 AM

Mirror, mirror on the wall,
whos the fairest of them all?
The mirror laughed and gave a grunt,
Its not you, you ugly cunt!

Posts:637
Rank: God
Posted: October 26 2006 at 12:19 AM

Posts:426
Rank: God
Posted: October 26 2006 at 12:20 AM

"I saw a woman wearing a sweatshirt with "Guess" on it. I said, "Thyroid problem?"
-- Arnold Schwarzenegger

Posts:426
Rank: God
Posted: October 26 2006 at 12:21 AM

"Clinton lied. A man might forget where he parks or where he lives, but he never forgets oral sex, no matter how bad it is."
- Barbara Bush (Former US First Lady, and you didn't think Barbara had a sense of humor)

Posts:426
Rank: God
Posted: October 26 2006 at 12:21 AM

"Women complain about premenstrual syndrome, but I think of it as the only time of the month that I can be myself."
-- Roseanne

Posts:426
Rank: God
Posted: October 26 2006 at 12:24 AM

The Perfect Woman

The perfect woman
Doesn�t fart
Like a trumpet sounding
But rather it is released
Like she�s gently sighing

The perfect woman
Doesn�t belch
Out the word Bulawayo
But rather releases it
Behind her hand delicately

The perfect woman
Doesn�t sweat
Or anything like as vulgar
If they overheat
The darlings just perspire

The perfect woman
Doesn�t swear
Only shit and maybe bloody
If they stub their toe
Its sod it or even buggeration

The perfect woman
Doesn�t exist
They fart and blame the cat
They belch and blame the food
They sweat and blame the change
They swear and blame the man

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